Today (this morning) I'm feeling weird, had a night where I only slept a little . . . thinking A LOT . . . not good when it comes to me.
I don't like myself right now, I dont like the image I see in the mirror in the morning, I dont like how I feel when I'm with people, and I know that when I'm with a guy I do not give off good body language b/c I feel I just dont meet public expectations. I have a kick butt personality . . . conversation wise I'm awesome, however when I'm with (a male) I get soooo insecure that my personality just flies out the window.
The only thing that can really change this is me. I really need to buck up and just change some things . . . and I'm the only one who can change them. Being with friends, going out, eating arent things that make me happy any more . . . something big that makes me happy is working out. I love being able to say 'yea i ran 2 miles today' or "woot this week I did 30 miles of activity", that being said for the next MONTH (whoa) thats my focus. No more am I going to attempt to attract a guy's attention . . . no more am I going to worry about what other people think of me, no more am I going to attempt to go out and fake happy. I'm going to use free time to hit the gym and take the Saminator for a walk.
I"m refocusing myself (thus the point of this blog) and really get on the ball.
No one is going to like me if I don't like myself.
No more of this:
And more of this :
And if you know me at all . . . you know how fitting I feel this picture is for me.
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